The Gift Of Giving
Posted: November 17, 2012
Friendly City Files
People often leave flyers on our front door. Some want to clean our house. Others want to spruce up our landscaping.
A couple weeks ago, the brothers of Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity at James Madison University left a flyer and a few plastic grocery bags.
To be honest, I’m not exactly, um, that favorably disposed toward fraternities. Not that there’s anything wrong with them; the problem is me. I was hardly one of the popular kids in high school or in college, and to me, fraternity guys seemed like the exact opposite: Confident, outgoing, enjoying a nonstop whirl of parties and social events … basically they seemed like everything I wasn’t.
OK, to be totally honest, I’m still not one of the popular kids.
Then I read the flyer. The bros of LCA were collecting food and money for the Blue Ridge Area Food Bank. Cool: Our local food bank is definitely a worthy cause. Requests for assistance are up, donations are down and all we had to do was grab some stuff from the cabinets and leave it on our porch last Sunday for the guys to pick up. Easy.
I really hope their food drive was a success for a couple reasons. One is the obvious benefit to people in need. Going hungry is painful enough, but add the pain parents unable to provide for their children, however temporarily, probably feel and it must be awful.
Then imagine how it must feel to find the food bank shelves empty or the soup kitchen closed. Now you aren’t just hungry. Now you aren’t just struggling with feelings of self worth or self-esteem.
Now it seems your community doesn’t care. Now you’re hungry … and you’re alone.
The second reason I hope their drive was a success might be less obvious. No one argues against wanting a more caring society. We’re all in favor of building a community that treats its citizens with compassion. But the only way to foster caring and compassion is to teach and model caring and compassion.
That means actively encouraging and supporting the charitable efforts of others.
Imagine you’re a Lambda Chi Alpha brother. You spent a day passing out flyers and bags. Then you spent a day driving through the same neighborhoods to pick up food. For all I know, the drive was a smashing success ... but let’s say that only a few people left donations.
If you’re a volunteer, how would that make you feel? Disappointed, sure, but also a little cynical. Maybe people don’t really care. Maybe putting time into a cause isn’t really worth it.
Maybe next time you will be less likely to volunteer. Maybe, just maybe, you will never volunteer again.
Fortunately, there’s an easy way to both make a real difference and support the people helping out a cause: When someone asks, give.
I know what you’re thinking: If you donate to every worthy cause, you’ll have nothing left.
But that’s not really true since each individual gift doesn’t have to be substantial. We’re conditioned to think that only significant donations are meaningful, but that is only true when just a few people actually donate. If everyone donates a little, then no one needs to donate a lot.
Say we all drop whatever change is in our pockets in the red Salvation Army kettle as we walk by. The total would be huge. When many participate a little truly does go a long way.
Plus, the Salvation Army volunteers will gain a strong sense of validation from watching hundreds of people respond to their bells by actively caring about those less fortunate. How rewarding would it feel to be a part of that? How much more likely would they be to volunteer again?
How much more likely would you be to donate your time to a worthy cause if you experienced such an amazing sense of community?
Giving helps recipients both in tangible ways and in how feel about themselves. Giving helps the people trying to make a difference feel better about helping their community and helps them feel better about themselves.
And giving helps you and me help other people — and as a result, we feel better about ourselves. Because it’s not the amount, but the act that matters most.
Can’t beat that.
A couple weeks ago, the brothers of Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity at James Madison University left a flyer and a few plastic grocery bags.
To be honest, I’m not exactly, um, that favorably disposed toward fraternities. Not that there’s anything wrong with them; the problem is me. I was hardly one of the popular kids in high school or in college, and to me, fraternity guys seemed like the exact opposite: Confident, outgoing, enjoying a nonstop whirl of parties and social events … basically they seemed like everything I wasn’t.
OK, to be totally honest, I’m still not one of the popular kids.
Then I read the flyer. The bros of LCA were collecting food and money for the Blue Ridge Area Food Bank. Cool: Our local food bank is definitely a worthy cause. Requests for assistance are up, donations are down and all we had to do was grab some stuff from the cabinets and leave it on our porch last Sunday for the guys to pick up. Easy.
I really hope their food drive was a success for a couple reasons. One is the obvious benefit to people in need. Going hungry is painful enough, but add the pain parents unable to provide for their children, however temporarily, probably feel and it must be awful.
Then imagine how it must feel to find the food bank shelves empty or the soup kitchen closed. Now you aren’t just hungry. Now you aren’t just struggling with feelings of self worth or self-esteem.
Now it seems your community doesn’t care. Now you’re hungry … and you’re alone.
The second reason I hope their drive was a success might be less obvious. No one argues against wanting a more caring society. We’re all in favor of building a community that treats its citizens with compassion. But the only way to foster caring and compassion is to teach and model caring and compassion.
That means actively encouraging and supporting the charitable efforts of others.
Imagine you’re a Lambda Chi Alpha brother. You spent a day passing out flyers and bags. Then you spent a day driving through the same neighborhoods to pick up food. For all I know, the drive was a smashing success ... but let’s say that only a few people left donations.
If you’re a volunteer, how would that make you feel? Disappointed, sure, but also a little cynical. Maybe people don’t really care. Maybe putting time into a cause isn’t really worth it.
Maybe next time you will be less likely to volunteer. Maybe, just maybe, you will never volunteer again.
Fortunately, there’s an easy way to both make a real difference and support the people helping out a cause: When someone asks, give.
I know what you’re thinking: If you donate to every worthy cause, you’ll have nothing left.
But that’s not really true since each individual gift doesn’t have to be substantial. We’re conditioned to think that only significant donations are meaningful, but that is only true when just a few people actually donate. If everyone donates a little, then no one needs to donate a lot.
Say we all drop whatever change is in our pockets in the red Salvation Army kettle as we walk by. The total would be huge. When many participate a little truly does go a long way.
Plus, the Salvation Army volunteers will gain a strong sense of validation from watching hundreds of people respond to their bells by actively caring about those less fortunate. How rewarding would it feel to be a part of that? How much more likely would they be to volunteer again?
How much more likely would you be to donate your time to a worthy cause if you experienced such an amazing sense of community?
Giving helps recipients both in tangible ways and in how feel about themselves. Giving helps the people trying to make a difference feel better about helping their community and helps them feel better about themselves.
And giving helps you and me help other people — and as a result, we feel better about ourselves. Because it’s not the amount, but the act that matters most.
Can’t beat that.
Jeff Haden lives in Harrisonburg. He can be reached at www.blackbirdinc.com.